Modeling Learning All the Time

                                                                 Mmmmmmm....table.

Modeling Learning All the Time simply means that the parent or guardian must be engaged with the world in such a way that they are learning all the time.  In this way the child or children learn what it means to be curious about and in the world; they learn how to do real world research.  Maybe most importantly, they aren’t afraid of what they don’t know, in fact they learn to be excited by what they don’t know.  They are excited to ask questions and easily soak up the answers – sometimes even the first time they hear or see them.  One doesn’t need to use drills or flashcards when the learner has an intrinsic need to know something. 

I offer two examples of what this looks like in our home.  The children may see me researching new cookbooks to get at the library.  The children see me request a particular book be sent to our local downtown library.  Then they go with me to pick it up a few days later and notice me flipping through it once we’re home, they may even want to look at it with me and talk about what they see.  When I come across an ingredient I don’t know about, the children witness me looking it up in the index and, if needed, looking it up online.  They may even come over and join in at some point, asking about the ingredient, the recipe, or the process.  This is how children learn how to learn, just as children learn how to speak what is spoken to them and around them.

Access to Resources

Julian and Oliver examine a femur bone from a giant game of "Operation" at the Grossology exhibit.

            Access to Resources is another fundamental piece of the unschooling puzzle.  Resources can mean internet for research, videos and communication, or easy access to books and materials for projects, or access to outside spaces like mountains and parks.  This also includes the immediate community surrounding the unschooling family, whether it’s an unschooling community or simply the people who live in the neighborhood.  None of these things are essential on their own except perhaps the aspect of community.  For instance, if a family lived in a rural area they might have access to outside spaces, they may have many books or videos in the home, or they may have internet.  Because they have internet, they have access to the wider unschooling community, whether or not they have a community of people living near them.  Of course, if a family did not have internet and also didn’t feel a sense of community in their neighborhood, they may need to find a different way to connect with people in the world.  The need for connection is not singular for unschoolers, it’s a human need.  I won’t pretend that any of these things would be easy for all families to provide, but that doesn’t make them less essential to a healthy unschooling environment. 

Relationship Development

            One of the most important aspects of an unschooling curriculum is the development of the relationships in the child’s life, most notably between parent and child.  This relationship is the how and the why of unschooling.  It is the how in that an enormous amount of trust is needed for this lifestyle to work.  The parent must trust that the child is capable of learning what he or she needs without compulsory schooling.  The child must trust the parent to the extent that they feel secure in their relationship.  This security allows the child to freely explore their interests and passions without fear of ridicule for what those interests are or fear of ridicule for not knowing things along the way.  When there is unconditional trust between parent and child - the child can ask questions without worry that they are too elementary for their age or anything else.  

            As mentioned earlier, this relationship development is also the why of unschooling, it is a huge part of the lifestyle that those who choose to unschool are seeking.  Unschooling allows families to stay together to develop relationships with each other in ways not possible when the children go to school and parents go to work for so many hours out of almost every day.  In attempting to explain I’d like to look to our assumed social contracts and how unschooling can flip these on their heads.  Unschoolers are breaking the social contract that says we send our kids to school to learn academics and to learn to socialize, or how to “fit in” in the world.  Unschoolers live by a different social contract, they are still concerned with learning and socializing, however the view is broader.  The focus isn’t necessarily only on the content to be learned, but on the child learning the content; the focus isn’t on “fitting in,” but on learning how to exist as your best self in the world as it exists.  The child isn’t shamed for not learning how to read at a certain “level” by a certain age, or for not caring about what the adult thinks is important to know.  The child is supported in learning what he or she wants to learn, and the child has modeled to him how to behave in the world – what works and what doesn’t.