Relationship Development

            One of the most important aspects of an unschooling curriculum is the development of the relationships in the child’s life, most notably between parent and child.  This relationship is the how and the why of unschooling.  It is the how in that an enormous amount of trust is needed for this lifestyle to work.  The parent must trust that the child is capable of learning what he or she needs without compulsory schooling.  The child must trust the parent to the extent that they feel secure in their relationship.  This security allows the child to freely explore their interests and passions without fear of ridicule for what those interests are or fear of ridicule for not knowing things along the way.  When there is unconditional trust between parent and child - the child can ask questions without worry that they are too elementary for their age or anything else.  

            As mentioned earlier, this relationship development is also the why of unschooling, it is a huge part of the lifestyle that those who choose to unschool are seeking.  Unschooling allows families to stay together to develop relationships with each other in ways not possible when the children go to school and parents go to work for so many hours out of almost every day.  In attempting to explain I’d like to look to our assumed social contracts and how unschooling can flip these on their heads.  Unschoolers are breaking the social contract that says we send our kids to school to learn academics and to learn to socialize, or how to “fit in” in the world.  Unschoolers live by a different social contract, they are still concerned with learning and socializing, however the view is broader.  The focus isn’t necessarily only on the content to be learned, but on the child learning the content; the focus isn’t on “fitting in,” but on learning how to exist as your best self in the world as it exists.  The child isn’t shamed for not learning how to read at a certain “level” by a certain age, or for not caring about what the adult thinks is important to know.  The child is supported in learning what he or she wants to learn, and the child has modeled to him how to behave in the world – what works and what doesn’t.